When I Make it to the Top

Driving home from spending eight beautiful days in Colorado, I watched in new wonder as the foothills around me turned to mountains. The Rocky Mountains were incredible to behold: big, rugged, cold, wild. The Appalachians, however, are old, weathered, and wise. Something about the big mountains of Colorado felt familiar. Maybe it’s because they tell the story of the youth of the mountains in the East, which were once big and rugged, too. Maybe it’s just because once the mountains get in your soul, you can’t help but call all of them “home”.

Upon arriving in Denver at 7am last Monday morning, I met up with Wildcard, trail family from the Appalachian Trail Class of 2016. We hiked many miles together that year, and having the opportunity to spend the day together would turn out to be one of the highlights of my trip. We did some touristy stuff, like visiting Red Rocks and the gravesite of Buffalo Bill, before heading up I-70 into the mountains. I’m not sure I’ll ever forget the moment we crested a hill and those enormous, snow-capped peaks spread out before me like a buffet, begging me to fill my plate with their splendor. The feeling that rushed over me was something akin to homesickness, though that definitely isn’t the correct word. Something inside me stirred and I yearned for those summits I’d yet to tread upon and valleys I’d never laid eyes on. There should be some intricate, beautiful word for this feeling. It felt like coming home to a place I’d never been.

I spent the following six days exploring everything the small town of Frisco had to offer, from dive bars to cold mountain lakes nestled in the valleys, from an endless variety of craft beer to, of course, a dispensary, and from warm, dry trails in the valley to snow-covered peaks. Zach (Brutus), who I met while he was hiking the Appalachian Trail through Franklin in early 2016, played tour guide and made sure I hit all the must-see local spots. I also got to re-unite with Gadabout and Big Brown, both AT class of 2015 hikers, who just happened to be passing through Frisco on a road trip headed west to do some photography.

I hiked on four of the six full days I spent in Frisco. My trip culminated on Sunday with my most challenging hike of the week – a climb to the top of Mt. Royal, which involved 1,588 feet of elevation gain in just under two miles to the top. The trail was steep enough to give me flashbacks of being in the White Mountains of New Hampshire last fall, with ice and snow making an appearance about halfway up. As I climbed, placing one foot in front of the other and using my hiking poles to help propel me forward, I began contemplating the journey using a method I always employ on challenging hikes (credit goes to Zach Davis… I first learned about this method reading his book Appalachian Trials):

When I {make it to the top}…

I will feel strong and proud of myself

I will have accomplished something great

I will prove that I CAN… to myself as much as anyone else

I will gain confidence in my physical and mental capabilities

I will not have let fear or insecurity get the best of me

I will have earned the greatest reward: the view from the top

If I don’t {make it to the top}…

I will be disappointed in myself… but

I will know I tried hard and failed

I will be able to assess what I need to do differently next time to succeed

I will be upset with the limitations my body and/or mind have placed upon me and strive to improve them.

I will have given anyone who doubted me reason to continue to do so

I will not get to see the view from the top.

Now, this was only a four mile hike, and while it was steep and cold and the air was thin, I never really had any doubts I’d make it to the top. The point, however, is that no matter how small or large the challenge, it can be helpful to assess your emotions and how you actually feel about the situation you are in. Replace the words in {braces} with whatever your goal is, and make your lists. This method has helped me both become more motivated to reach my goals AND learn not to beat myself up so much if I fail. And it’s helped me up a hell of a lot of mountains.

Now, I’m sitting at “home” (in the Casita), writing this while my poodles nap at my feet and my familiar blue mountains loom on the horizon. I’m planning my next adventure, which I hope will be a thru-hike of the Foothills Trail in South Carolina this winter. I’m also working like mad trying to save money for a summer trip back to Colorado to do a section of the Colorado Trail, and for nursing school which I’ll *hopefully* begin next August. Following are a few of my favorite photos from the trip, with descriptions. I hope you enjoy them!